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Hind's Law of Computer Programming: 1. Any given program, when running, is obsolete. 2. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed. 3. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented. 4. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory. 5. The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output. 6. Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the programmer who must maintain it. 7. Make it possible for programmers to write programs in English, and you will find that programmers cannot write in English.
ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten. -- from THE JARGON FILE, VERSION 2.9.9, 01 APR 1992
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population. -- David Letterman.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. -- Groucho Marx
Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle. --†Steinbach's Guideline for Systems Programmers.